How can I ever forgive myself?

Accepting Christ's forgiveness is one thing I have a problem with. I understand that God forgives us of our sins but I just think HOW? I cant even forgive myself for the things I have done. I think back to all the drinking, smoking, swearing and everything else in between that I was doing and I think what in the world was I thinking.

The first step in growing is to believe that we are truly forgiven. How can I preach on forgiveness if I don't believe I'm forgiven? Its so hard sometimes but its the truth!You cant teach someone if you don't think that it applies to you. 

I read in one of my bible devotionals that if you fail to accept God's forgiveness intellectually yet fail to internalize it emotionally, you are practicing one of two things: you may be attempting to minimize your sin and convince yourself that it really isn't that bad or you are minimizing the works of the Cross by saying that your sin is so bad that Christs sacrificial death was not enough to pay for it. However, both options puts you in charge of your sin and sets you aside form God's grace.

This is so important because Christ came and died for all your sins not just some of them. Christ died so he could forgive you for everything but ______? NO! He died for all of your sin!

Remember!:
Moses was a murderer
David was an adulterer
Sampson blew his potential
Saul murdered Christians
Rehab was a prostitute

And God used every single person to further His kingdom and build up his body!

Galatians 2:21 says "I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing."

Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.

Find peace today, knowing that even though you have sinned, God has forgiven you, its time to forgive yourself!!

-Special thanks to my True Identity Bible for some good points that added to my blog!

Prince Charming....More like a Loser in Aluminum Foil!

Have you ever felt like God isn't listen to word you have to say? Like the things you really really want and think are good for you, He just skips over when you say your prayers? Oh boy do I! (more times than I would like to admit)! I'm 23, about to be 24 years old and I have never had a real boyfriend in my life. I have had guys that I hung out with and went to the movie with and maybe kissed here and there(we have all had them). But I have never had a real, live, God-fearing man in my life, one that was more worried about my spiritual growth  than what I could do for him to make him happy. Now don't get me wrong, I love to serve people, its one of my God-given talents but you know what I'm talking about :)  I am so inpatient. I want what I want and I want it NOW!

Everyone around me is in a relationship, might not be happy relationships, but they are in one. I see all the girls I graduated high school with and are just plain friends with, getting married and having babies and all I can think is WHEN IS IT MY TURN! Some of my friends, in my judgement, don't deserve to even be in relationship because they can't stay faithful to anyone but themselves. I could be an awesome girlfriend and amazing wife!

But I feel like God isn't listening to what I really want the desires that come from the very inside of me but I know its not true: Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

God's timing is so NOT ours! Waiting is something I'm terrible at but the Old Testament and New Testament tells us that God's timing is so important. As wise Solomon wrote, "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecc 3:11).  The Bible says, "when the time had fully come, God sent his Son" (Gal 4:4) and There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: (Ecc 3:1). God's timing is something that I need to learn and embrace. He wants us to be happy and enjoy the things he has put on this Earth for us to enjoy.

I have found myself settling for less than what I deserve. My mom has always told me not "lower my standards" and I have always said I wasn't going to! Guess what? I have! So many times, they feelings of loneliness, unloved, abanoned and unwanted just over-whelm me. So I go for the first guy that comes my way. I think ok, he isnt a Christian but I can change him. He smokes but everyone sins right?. He doesn't want to go to church well maybe he has had bad experiences. NO NO NO! I wish right there God would have hit me upside the head and said "what are you thinking Casey!" I am a child of God, a Princess in the Kingdom, a Daughter of God and I deserve nothing but the BEST!  

Then I step back and watch God's glory shine! Most of my friends aren't truely happy. They have all settled for something less than what God wants for them. How amazing is it that God has guided me in a way that even though I sometimes have those feelings, He is preparing an amazing man that will love me and help me serve God is a way that He is glorfied. God is in control and even though you may feel those feeling, God never has left you. HE is right there waiting for you to embrace His timing because His timing is perfect. "Trust in Him at all times, O people" Psalm 62:8

Romans 8:28 says, " And we know that GOD works for the GOOD of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose."

Find the GOOD today because God hasnt stopped working on you!

Crunchy Leaves, Apple Cinder, and Bonfires

So I'm totally new at this. A newly found friend(Christina) gave me her blog address. And in reading every single one of her blogs and realizing God has given her a talent to share his love it has unknowingly inspired me to write one of my own. Her dream is to be a writer...well not me as much but I am going through a really rough time right now and feel like blogging my thouhgts and feeling and seeing how my growth blossoms.  I feel like things are crashing down on my and I can't breath.  I am going to use this blog as my way to grow in Christ.
I am Casey and I am currently a 2nd year senior at Ohio Valley University. I am majoring in Psychology with a minor in Women Christian Services...I know it's a mouth full right? What in the world do I want to do with my life? I have no clue but I do know something, that no matter what I do, more than anything I want to be able to glorify God! Even though I have been a Christian and a member of the church since I was 14 ish....I am just now...unfortunately finally realizing I want a deep, intimate relationship with my Savior....better late than never I guess.

I have done some pretty crazy things in my past...that I am not proud of at all but I have come to learn that I have a forgiving, merciful, loving God that no matter where I am or what I have done, still desires to have my love. How awesome is that! God is so good....but why am I scared to tell my friends and family about the love? If I think it's so amazing, how come I am to chicken to talk to my family about it...I know...I don't want to look like a hypocrite....they have seen my mistakes, they have seen me at my worst, when instead of praising God, I was cursing Him. How terrible am I that I left that image for them. Fortunately enough, I have a forgiving God and an understanding family. Even though I have done some crazy things in my life, Im coming to realize that they dont define who I am today. It has been about 3 months that I have decided to re-dedicate my life to God but I have grown so much. God is using that bad choices I have made into a Women of his.

So today...I am going to start living my life for God instead of myself(authentically) though. I am one of the best advice givers ever!! I can tell people how to fix their lives and I can spit out scripture to help someone....but when I am really going to start embracing the breath words of God...NOW! God is so amazing....and through all my faults...God still seeing the me he has intended me to be! I am intended to be a Princess in the Kingdom....it's time to start acting like it!!