Feeling a little DRY

You know when you first wake up from a well rested sleep  and your dying for a glass of water or orange juice? Well that's where I have been with my relationship with Jesus. Lately I have been feeling dry like I a dying for a glass of the Holy Spirit to come inside of me and send me off to feel refreshed.

With the normal drag of life, its hard not to add in your personal junk into the mix. I have been dealing with so much in my life right now I haven't had time but to eat, sleep and shower. By the end of the day reading my Bible seems like the hugest task ever. I tend to put it off and off that eventually I am not in my Bible until Mid-week church. Praying and laying my burdens at the cross aren't even in the cards sometimes. I know you know what I mean...life stinks sometimes! lol

However, today I have come to a realization that no matter how hectic life is or the sins and struggles you go through God is always there to replenish your soul...even if I am not ready to be.

I guess lately I have been feeling unworthy of His forgiveness, Grace and Mercy. I have been so caught up in my own funk that I have looked right past Him. I have been so blinded by my sin that I didn't see Him standing there with His arm opened wide to give me a hug of Grace. I have been over burden with the noise of Satan and the world telling me that I am not worthy of His Mercy that I was deafened that I didn't hear Him say "Casey, its okay. I love you and always will, just come to me."

Regardless of the noise, the funk and the world I should know that no matter what I have done He will aways be standing there waiting on me to realize that I am worth everything to Him. Why don't I get it and remember it? I think sometimes I let Satan tell me that I am not worth it.

Be encouraged!!! No matter what life throws at you God is ALWAYS standing there loving you regardless.

Why isn't my Best ever good enough?

Have you ever felt like what your doing just isn't good enough for people? Like no matter what you do, it just doesn't meet their qualifications or demands or how they want things done? -To the point where you just want to cry and give up and just say forget it!?

I feel like that, sometimes with my relationship with my God! Like no matter how hard I try or the intentions I have, they just aren't good enough- because really compared to Him, they aren't. I'm garbage compared to his greatness!

 I am just asked to do so much- teach class on Wednesday, do nursery on Sunday morning, help with the potluck, take food to the homeless shelter, be a mentor for the young girls, show people love even when I can't stand them, be patient with the kids even when they act up and they know they shouldn't be, tell unwilling people about His love and the list goes on and on! You know exactly what I am talking about? And I feel like just quitting!! But that's the point, God wants our all, not just a little bit.

 I feel like I am the most selfish person in the world. How could I feel like that after what Jesus did on the cross? I should be more than willing to give up everything I have and everything I once did to do exactly what He wants me to be and do. At times I am more than willing to do everything God wants me to do but at times I just don't want to. When will I ever get to the point where I learn that my best is good enough. That is what He wants is our best. I need to give up the way I think and let Him lead and then I know I am good enough!

In the Gospel of John, Jesus talks to his disciples about a Shepard and his flock. The Shepard doesn't have to force them to go. The Shepard leads and the flock follows, no questions asked! He said that He is the Good Shepard. He says He knows His sheep and they know Him. He knows them by name and they listen to Him! He also talks about that there is "hired hand" they pretend to be the Shepard but they are hired, they don't really care about the flock, they get paid to do what they do.

My prayer for this week is that we all can grow to be HIS flock and let him lead and quick trying to be the Shepard. I need to learn to follow the Good Shepard and not the hired help! Find peace in the fact that Jesus is the Good Shepard and He will led us where he want, we just have to be willing to follow!