December 2010, I officially graduated from Ohio Valley University. I have officially received my bachelors degree. So after 4 1/2 years of schooling, 60,000 dollars in loans, 4 years of doing school work without books, friendships that I have gained and lost, my Christianity was strengthened, I should feel on top of the world right now, right?
Then how come I don't? How come I am not in the world celebrating my triumph? How come I am not encouraging others to take the route I did? I should be proud of myself on what I accomplished? Well, how come I am not? What's my problem, why am I so depressed?
I feel like like I am a huge loser! It sounds crazy right? I know, I'm weird, but really though, I feel like a huge loser! I am 23(almost 24) years old, I live with my sister and her family of six, I can't find a job, and I'm single! I feel like no one ever understands where I am coming from. I am just ready or my life to start. I'm ready to be on my own, with a career and to have that special someone to share my life with. I feel like that I am stuck in a rut and I can't get out. I know, it sounds crazy right? So after 2 hours of crying, 2 glasses of wine, and a good talk with my sister...I feel a little better
But later as I was thinking about when my life was going to begin, I thought, thats what God's thinking. He is probably up there thinking "ya Casey, when are you gonna let me do great things with you?" I find myself trying to control my life. I always ask myself when are these things going to "start" for me but the real question is when am I going to start to live a life where God would be glad to bless me with a good job, when am I going to bless someone elses life so that God would be proud to call me his daughter or the hardest to accept is when am I going to start strengthening my relationship with God so He can bless me with an amazing Christian man?
So I ask myself, what are you waiting on Casey, because I can't just sit and let my life pass me by? So I ask you the same thing, what are you waiting on? Are you hoping that success, love and peace just comes to you...I don't think it works like that...bummer I know! My prayer for you is that God brings you the hope that it will be okay becasue it will :)
